Monday, March 28 at 6:45 PM

so much on the mind and the heart these days...

dad is doing awesome. he even got to come home for a few hours yesterday since it was easter and my mom's birthday. so nice to see him out of the hospital and looking good.

i really want to say thanks to all of you who've poured out your love and prayers over these last several weeks...it has truly been appreciated. i am so thankful for the incredible support i have around me--from those i see on a daily basis to some of you whom i've never met (and probably never will).


and now it's time for a little transparency...

the last few days have been hard. for several reasons. things so seemingly insignificant, but yet completely unsettling. i'm sick of feeling like i'm just going through the motions...but that is exactly what life has seemed like for the last little while. just making it through with the hope that tomorrow will be better than today...that things won't hurt as much with time. and i know that i am learning and growing...God is using all of this for good. it's just not feeling so good right now...

funny (only not really) how everything reminds you of a person once they're gone. every place you went together, every song they sang to you, every conversation you had. you can be going about your business...mind totally off the person...thinking you are moving on...getting over the whole deal--and then that song comes on the radio, or you see them, or someone just casually mentions their name, or things that you had talked about doing together end up being done alone...and you're right back at that place, reliving the moments, missing their heart, wishing for something to change. but nothing does...so you just try to make it through, knowing that sometimes what's best just hurts a lot...

that's where i'm at these days.