i knew that having a blog could potentially be very unsettling. i knew it would be easier (in a sense) to share things about me in this forum...and i knew that i would be aware of how people responded to my posts. but i was really only thinking of how those people close to me would respond. i must say that it is just weird to write my thoughts, feelings, and struggles here...and have random people comment on them.

my first inclination is to just stop posting, or at least stop posting anything that could be taken the wrong way, dissected, attacked, etc. (wouldn't that be just about everything?)...that's pretty much my reaction in real life, anyway. i think i am afraid of letting others really see me because i know me...i know every flaw, every inconsistency, every insecurity. so i thought this internet journal would be an easy way to let more of myself come out...and now i am feeling more vulnerable than i have in quite some time. funny. and yet, isn't that what life is all about? putting yourself on the line. leaving the comfortable. knowing others and being known. i think it is, so i will continue to be as real as possible...

romans 8:1-2 keeps coming to mind as i'm writing..."therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." such a comfort to know that i don't have to be perfect. none of us are...but i know Someone who is, and that makes all the difference in the world.