blog hazards
Monday, June 7 at 12:35 PM are the thoughts that keep running through my head today. am i missing out on some good conversations because of my blogging? is this just an easy way out for me?

i ask these questions for a couple of reasons. first, i know that it is usually easier for me to express my thoughts and emotions on paper or on this blog. it's how i am. i can write about how i'm feeling all day long...but when it comes to talking about those things, i can (not always, but a lot of the time) get all nervous and self conscious. i start to fidget or play with whatever is within my reach (even if it's a knife...sorry shua) and words are sometimes hard to find. it's a quality i would really like to change...or at least improve. but i have to ask myself how much change is going to take place if i just choose to write about my feelings instead. now, don't get me wrong, it's not that i never talk to anyone about my feelings now...i'm just concerned that i am sharing myself the easy way, instead of working through the uncomfortableness (nice word, huh?) of the other way in order to get better at it.

...which brings me to my second point--i think that all of us bloggers and blogger readers have to be careful not to let this internet fun replace real connection. i am concerned that there may come a day when i don't need to ask my friends what they are learning and going through...because i will have already read about it on their blogs. it's really a catch 22. this blogging thing is great because people can read what you're thinking (especially convenient for those friends who are far away). but i think it has the potential to take something special away from friendships (especially with those people you see every day)...there is just no substitute for honest, face-to-face discussion.

so, i'm not sure what these things mean for me...i just wanted to share them with you all. and let me just say that this little blog is a slice of my life. sometimes i share completely what is on my heart...and sometimes i can't do that. if you really wanna know everything that's going on in my head and in my heart, you must be wait--i mean, you'll just have to ask me.