at least in the blogging sense. i am disgusted with myself...okay, not really. but i wouldn't read my blog if i were you. still, i'm glad that you do.

life is good.

i feel like i've been in this weird funk for the last little while. one of those that you know you're in, but you don't know exactly how to get out. that was me. and i would find myself explaining it...saying things like, "i know a lot of this is just my perception," or "i'm probably being hypersensitive/reading into things/feeling sorry for myself/blah blah blah." but wow, it was hard to come to the point where i didn't believe the lies anymore. where i could get past whatever i thought was wrong.

but i think i experienced some extremely vital truths in this whole process.
1. i am human. naturally, i am totally selfish. selfishness brings misery. the degree to which i base my life around my feelings, thoughts, and wants is the same degree to which it falls apart.
2. the Enemy is good. so good. he knows how to make me feel completely unloved and unworthy. and it's usually in very small ways. but those small ways wreak major havoc.
3. Jesus Christ is the only one who truly satisfies. such a simple statement...one that i've heard hundreds of times. yet, i still try to find satisfaction elsewhere. i don't wanna do that anymore. i just want to know Him.

life is good. thank you Jesus.