Wednesday, June 1 at 10:15 PM

- showing extreme urgency or intensity especially because of great need or desire.

i've found myself claiming that i am desperate for God lately...or at least that i want to be. but i think i'm a liar. i'm just not desperate. and i don't know how to make myself be desperate.

i saw a man the other day who was desperate. i was in greenville to run some errands and there he was...on the side of the road. with a little cardboard sign that read "homeless. anything helps. God bless."

that is extreme urgency and intensity...he had a great need. something brought him to the point where he woke up that morning and decided that his best plan for the day would be to stand by the side of the road with that sign. i'd call that desperation.

seeing that man on saturday affected me. i've seen people similar to him many times before. but it hit me with him. so completely detached from any ounce of pride...just in need. in need of anything. anything would help.

and i have to say...he made me uncomfortable. i wanted to help him but i was also scared. i, like pretty much everyone around me, tried to find some way to avoid eye contact with this man. i felt so sorry for heart went out to him...but i did nothing because i wasn't sure how safe it would be. someone that desperate just creeped me out a little.

but i want to be that desperate. for Jesus. i want to get rid of every trace of myself, my pride, my vain conceit. all i want to want is Him. i want to wake up every morning and hold my little cardboard sign out to Him saying, "anything helps." 'cause i believe that's all he truly requires...desperate people who are not afraid of looking weird or making others uncomfortable. a life that is completely devoid of self. i'm sure i'll never get there...but i want to get as close as possible. i want to live a life of extreme urgency and intensity because of my need and desire for Jesus.