this is where the title goes (duh.)
Wednesday, December 21 at 12:04 AM

i feel like there's something i want to say, but i don't know what it is. usually when this happens i just type and go with whatever comes out. it's not always a good thing.

i was sick sunday night and yesterday. UGLY sick. up all night, puking my guts out, praying for some relief kind of sick. and then it stopped monday morning. but my head hurt so bad all day yesterday that i seriously contemplated BEATING MYSELF SENSELESS. it was really not good. i couldn't do anything except lie in the bed. my head hurt too bad to watch tv. i didn't have the energy to do anything else. all i did was drink sprite and turn over every now and then. thank God for mama renie coming and taking care of me. that one cracker (the only thing i ate yesterday), wet washcloth, and tylenol made all the difference in the world.

on another note, has anyone else noticed that christmas is only 5 days away? what?? i just can't believe it. i know that's sort of the thing to say, but doesn't seem possible. i feel like i've been trying to cram the shopping and partying and celebrating into days that already seem quite full. and i don't feel like i'm doing a good job with the juggling. something always seems to suffer a little. it's just not quite right. and it's so easy to feel like i know exactly what will make life completely wonderful and meaningful (and if you're thinking it's a guy, you're WAY off)...but i've got to trust that God knows better than i do. and i just keep reminding myself that following Him and being right where He wants me does not always mean loving everything that i'm doing and having the most fun ever. sometimes it means just doing what i know i've gotta do for now...and hoping that the day when i get to do what i LOVE will come soon. but it also means accepting the fact that the future might not be exactly like i thought. and i've got to be okay with that.

i really must go to bed. i'm heading to a-town tomorrow evening and then to boston friday. i can't wait to see beautiful little nora. i'm sure i'll have lots of photos after the trip. get ready. i'm also going to new orleans a couple days after i get back from boston, so i should have lots of stories to tell after the holidays.