have you ever?
Friday, April 14 at 9:31 PM

have you ever just known something? i don't mean you think maybe you know. or you hope you know. or if you had your way, then what you want to know would be what you really know.

i mean...you just know. something in your gut (holy spirit, maybe?) tells you so. and no matter what the present looks or feels like...you can see the future.

and it might not make sense. and people might not get it. and you might even look at the possibility and think it seems completely impossible. but somewhere down deep, you know it'll happen. there is peace. there is complete trust that God is in control. there's the knowledge that no matter how far off that thing (whatever it may be) is...He can bring it close. He will make it happen.

and it's gonna be sweet. but you gotta wait for it.

dang...that's the hard part. waiting. waiting with the assurance of something incredibly amazing at the end of this holding pattern. waiting with anticipation. waiting...just waiting...waiting on God to orchestrate all the moments exactly as He wishes them to be. not as you wish them to be, but as He wishes them to be. as He knows they should be.

that's where i am in one area of my life. and it's a very cool place to be in so many ways...but it can also be totally frustrating. because i don't like being patient. i want it now. but, as a good friend of mine once said "i just want my obedience to be joyful, not like a kid sitting in a corner pouting because he has to wait a while until his dad will let him play with his favorite toy."

God, help my waiting be joyful. help me savor all these days. help me love like you love.