i really don't understand my heart.

sometimes it just makes no sense.

(i'm not trying to be cryptic or anything...this is just a reality that i've been forced to admit to myself recently...and i felt the need to share it with you.)

a quick one. but it'll have to do for now.

i had an incredible mini-vacation with the crew this past weekend. pictures are here and here. i love these people...they are family to me. it's funny the things that come to light when you know you are going to be leaving a situation. i've never felt closer and more protected and loved by a group of people than i do with these amazing guys and gals. i'm so thankful for this slice of life that we've been able to share with each other.

and i'm moving!! in a couple of weeks i will no longer call a-town home. it's weird to say that considering i've lived here for the last eighteen years (except for a very brief stint during grad school). i suppose anderson will always be home in many ways. but now it's time to step out into the exciting, unknown, unfamiliar world of columbia, sc. i can't wait to start this "new chapter" (i know it's cheesy...but it fits).

for those of you who are somehow uninformed...here's the overview. i'm moving to columbia with a small group of amazing people (dustin, renie, chris, and beth) to plant a church. there are others involved, but the five of us are heading down there now. God is all over it. there are so many mind-blowing stories of Him working out all the details...and we haven't even gotten there yet. it's a complete step of faith and He is making it clear that He will take care of all of us. here are a couple of examples, just to show how ridiculously awesome He is: none of us had jobs or places to live when we decided to go. i prayed that God would somehow give me a place to live for free. i had no idea how that would or could happen...i just prayed. yeah. two days later dustin told me about a family that would let me live in their basement room for free if i'd help with the kids a couple nights a week. okay. then chris and beth had one of their cars totally die. obviously, this came at a time that made it difficult to buy a new one...lots of uncertainty financially. so, yeah...God gave them one. for free. and there have been many more instances of Him just blessing us completely. too many to name really.

so, i'll try to keep this thing a little more up-to-date, especially after the move, so that you all will know how things are going in cola. please keep us, and midtown fellowship (yeah, that's the name), in your prayers.

this past week was filled with the most amazing, God-sized, incredible questions i have ever had to answer (or even ask myself). it was also filled with a lot of soul searching, heart checking, and tough decision making. and it was certainly filled with tons of prayer. (thanks to all of you who prayed for me and the rest of the crew. it was seriously felt. i mean it.)

i'll fill you in on some details soon.

but i trust in you, O LORD;
i say, "you are my God."
my times are in your hands.
psalm 31:14-15

changes in a moment. good. scary. exciting. this song almost captures exactly what i'm feeling.

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now, it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear
That ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love
That cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

Why did I
Take this vow of compromise?
Why did I
Try to keep it all inside?

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if You believe in me, that changes everything

brave-nichole nordeman